Calling All Cheerleaders
By: Clint | February 16th, 2007For the thousands of you who live in the Denver area and have been waiting your entire lives to be a cheerleader for a professional soccer club, here’s your big shot!
“The Colorado Rapids announced today that the team will host their annual open tryouts for the 2007 Colorado Rapids Cheerleading Squad on Saturday, February 24th.
The tryouts will take place indoors at the Pepsi Center, from 9am-5pm, and are open to males and females with open positions for dancers, cheerleaders and stunters.”
Cheerleaders for the Rapids? Great idea! “…open to males…” – not so much.
Seriously though, to have mascots at basketball and football games seems like a bad idea (given the audience and what they are interested in seeing), but an American soccer crowd, which has got to consist of at least 40% kids*, seems like the perfect sport to have a “jammin’ giraffe” or a “cool dude dog” (a’la Poochie). Cheerleaders, however, don’t make a lot of sense unless the goal is to alienate “purists”, distract males from the game, rile up the girlfriends/wives who catch their man staring at the cheerleaders, and push soccer even farther away from the sport the rest of the world calls “football”.
And now, I’m off to practice for my big tryout. Wish me luck!
-Heavy C “The Hip-Hop Hamster”
*Source: My ass.
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Comments
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Cheerleaders. What an excellent idea. Because American soccer is not yet the laughingstock of NEARLY enough of the rest of the world.
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Well living in Los Angeles and having attended a few Chivas USA game I must say that the Chiva girls are quiet popular altough they are called “community ambassadors”
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United States -
A Few quick points
1 – American Corporate Athletic Marketing. The are selling entertainment, cheerleaders and dancers are part of the show. Plus they are great for PR.
2- MLS is a newer farm League to FIFA. Ever watch NFL Europe? Same difference. They are trying to change that image, but it costs money (i.e. Beckam).
3 – Your wife will be too busy looking at the guy cheerleaders to complain about what your looking at.
4 – The Rapids have a Mascot. He’s a professional. If you attend a game he’s hard to miss ( I would reccomend going to a game, they are worth the price of admission).
5 – The Rapids cheer program is still rebuilding after the Nuggets Stunt squad stole most of the Denver talent. But when a 6 foot, 230 lbs acrobat tosses 2 girls 8 feet in the air and holds them up one in each hand, you may want to reconsider who you’re insulting. Can you hold 200 lbs over your head and smile? Come to tryouts and try it, you may learn something.
6 – American Soccer, American cheerleaders. If you don’t like muscle heads tossing cheerleaders in the air while the Dancers shake their poms, maybe you paid for the tickets because you’re a soccer fan, and you can’t make the next Arsenal match.
7 – If the world want’s to laugh, let ‘em. It’s their right.
8 – The Cheerleaders have been around for a few years. If you’re complaining now, you haven’t been to a game, and don’t know what your talking about. Again I would reccomend you attend a game, enjoy the show, and judge for yourself in person.
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Despite my “harsh” words, let me assure you that were this the year 1993 and I still had my original hips, I would be at every cheerleading practice AND I would salute them at every game, in person!
However, in my old, bald, senile state, I’m afraid I would be arrested if I come within 50 yards of an active cheerleader (my wife doesn’t count – she stopped cheerleading after high school).
As ridiculous as it is to have non-athletic entertainment at an athletic event (and I realize that the NBA is way worse than MLS at this and I, somewhat hypocritically, attend about a dozen basketball games a year while only seeing MLS about once a year), I give you my word that I will spend just about every minute of every Rapids game I attend staring at the cheerleaders, to the exclusion of all else. Including the game. ESPECIALLY the game. Unless they sign Wayne Rooney or something.
Oh yeah, I just moved to Colorado a few months ago so it was difficult to see any Rapids games before this season – WHICH I got two season tix for, thank you very much! I also wanted to type that – “thank you very much!” line. Hooray for me!
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Nice, Enjoy the season
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United States
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